Hosts
by kcn
Summary: Rediculous? Yes it is, but Sakura and Ino are hosting shows together. First up, Evil Cribs


Messed up stuff happens when Lucky-Chan and I are bored… No, we did not write this… we acted it out. Sad? Maybe just a little but it was fun!!!

Now for the disclaimer… Wait, I don't need that! I own Naruto… I own the world! I own YOU!!

Ino: -slaps kcn- Shut up, you own nothing. You aren't pretty or cool enough, like me.

Kcn: -punches Ino in the arm- SHUT UP!!!! What do you know? breaks into a fit of sobbing

Sakura: -rolls eyes- just get on with the story already.

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Ino: -whispers- Hi! And welcome to evil cribs!

Sakura:-also whispering- Today, we snuck into Orochimaru's castle and will show you around while they are in the dojo.

Ino: Alright, so first stop, this little room at the end of the hall. It says it's Sasuke's room. Let's go!!!!

Sakura: He has a very pretty room! And look, a picture of me!!! Where are you Ino-pig? I don't see you anywhere! –Akanbee-

Ino: You know he has my picture with him, 'cuz he loves me more billboard-brow! I'm so sexy!!

Sakura: Just shut-up, you know that's not true!!!

Ino: -angry stare- Alright! Next, the den. -Walks to den- WTF??? A world's best dad mug? That's just messed up!

Sakura: That it is! Well, I think we should mo…

Ino: Sakura??? What is it???

Sakura: Who is that? –Points to girl clinging to Sasuke in picture-

Ino: I don't know, probably his girlfriend. He never really liked you.

Inner Sakura: -shakes fist- SAY THAT TO MY FACE, SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO IT!!!

Sakura:-Akanbee-

Ino: Well, not much here… Now to that room across from Sasuke's… -loudly-OMG, its Orochimaru's room!!!

Sakura: -clamps hand over Ino's big mouth- It FEELS evil.

Ino:-rolls eyes and walks over to the bed- Let's see what it feels like. –Rolls all over bed- Sakura! You should feel this bed! It's sooooo soft!

Sakura: Ino, stop! Let's check out Orochimaru's bathroom!!! –Runs into bathroom-

Ino: Wow, he has more skincare products then me!

Sakura: -Giggles- And look at all the hair products!!

Ino: Well, he does have great skin, and hair. Maybe I should take a couple of these. –Lunges for products-

Sakura: -Stops Ino, who struggles- Stop it! Good lord woman, we don't want them to know we were here! Use your brain for once!

Ino: Well, let's go to Sasuke's bathroom then.

Sakura: -Walks into Sasuke's bathroom in the hall way. - Its peach colored. All peach. Why?!

Ino: -laughs- Ha-ha, he's GAY!!

Sakura-No, he can't be gay!!! He's just… effeminate.

Ino: Nah, he's gay.

Sakura: Whatever. Let's go to the kitchen now. I can't be in here. The peach is overwhelming. –Walks off angrily to the kitchen-

Ino:-Bounds into room- What's in the fridge? –Opens fridge-

Sakura: Look at all the health foods! Tomato juice, fruits, lean meats… Where is all the junk food?

Ino: In the pantry I'm sure! –Runs to the pantry- Hmm, soy bars, protein shake mix. Geez! They eat better then I do, that's for sure. This place is nicely decorated though. Very chic!

Sakura: -Already in the living room- Look at these movies. There is Fight Club, all of the Rocky movies, and, wait, there is one in the back… It's an animal movie all about puppies. What has Orochimaru done to poor Sasuke?

-Doorknob rattles-

Ino: Oh God, they are back. We have to hide! –Uses a concealing jutsu, and Sakura and the cameraman do the same-

-Sasuke and Orochimaru come in, yelling.-

Orochimaru: You know, you didn't try at all! You are so damn lazy!

Sasuke: If you wouldn't work me so hard, then maybe I would have more stamina everyday!

Orochimaru: YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT! I took you in to help you get power. You do NOT talk to me like that.

Sasuke: Well I agreed to be your container! Maybe you should respect me more!!

Orochimaru: I TOOK YOU IN AND TREATED YOU LIKE A SON! DON'T DEFY ME! I AM MORE POWERFUL THEN YOU AND YOU KNOW THAT! IF YOU WOULD PAY ATTENTION WHEN I TEACH YOU, YOU WOULD GAIN MORE POWER!

Sasuke: IF YOU ARE SO AMAZING, I WOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW. YOU DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A SON! YOU TREAT ME LIKE DIRT!

Orochimaru: THAT IS IT YOU ARE GROUNDED!

Sasuke: NO! I'M GOING TO MY ROOM, DON'T TALK TO ME! –runs into room, slams door-

Orochimaru: I AM TAKING THAT DOOR AWAY FROM YOU! YOU DON'T DESERVE PRIVACY! –breaks down door-

Sasuke: NOOOOO! NOOOOO! I'M GOING TO MY BATHROOM! –runs into bathroom and slams door-

Orochimaru: I WILL TAKE THAT DOOR TOO! I HAVE A BATHROOM OF MY OWN! –Breaks down that door too-

Sasuke: NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS FROM ME! –Storms into basement, followed by Orochimaru-

-Three hidden ninjas release their jutsus.-

Ino: Wow, Sasuke has turned into a whiny little bitch! Let's get out of here! –All three run out the door-

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That was part one of Hosts. Probably the most ridiculous thing ever written (or acted out.) Thanks to Lucky-Chan and me being bored, you get this beautiful mess.


End file.
